In this article I want to touch on an interesting and serious topic. I will try to be brief though I can talk on this theme for hours.
For certain, you have already noticed, how often parents give their children different nicknames - from tender and gentle to pejorative and contemptuous. Remember yourself in the childhood: I am sure, someone also fastened you some nicknames. Perhaps, it was pleasant to you, perhaps, you have even protested. Especially, when your mum or dad scolded you for any offense: "You got dirty again?! What a regular little pig you are!" or "Oh my God! My favourite vase is broken! You blunderer!" etc.
Meanwhile such-like character references from adults strongly settle in a child's head.
For example, mother hurries her sluggish son or daughter; she wonders, why he comes to standstill in time of elementary actions. And sometimes she loses her ability to wait patiently, she starts to do everything instead of him, in between tutting: "What a sleepyhead you are!", "What are you dreaming about?!", "You won't cope, let me do it", etc.
Or another example - your child from time to time eats badly. He is light eater. However he feels himself very good. And what about mum? In conversation with her friend she groans in the presence of child: "He eats absolutely nothing!", "He looks so unhealthy".
And the child stays and listens. "I eat badly, I am not healthy"... And, indeed, he starts getting ill often, he loses his appetite.
The kid only starts to communicate with his contemporaries, he is still afraid of unfamiliar people and keeps closer to his parents. But mother can say to her friend: "He doesn't like to communicate with other children", "He don't want to come out of his shell, "He is so shy...".
And the child remembers: "I am shy, it will be better if I won't communicate with others, otherwise I can stuck in an awkward situation." And his shyness grows.
Types of nicknames and notices:
Negative ("Lazybones!", "You totally got out of hand!", "Ungrateful!", "How cruel you are, you have no sympathy for your mum (dad, granny)
Positive ("You are my clever boy!","How tenderly you stroke a cat", "You are so kind: you have helped your granny to find her glasses","That's my girl - you always rejoice the cockles of my heart! ","My sweetie pie!"," "My small frame" etc.).
Each our word about the child always has emotional coloring and brings some sense to him. Small babies perceive the information through emotional tone. Maybe they do not know the meaning of a word, but perfectly catch the mood of their parents. One-year children already understand semantic meaning of all nicknames, that they receive. And what is important to know: all that nicknames and notices program the kids on a certain behavior.
In other words, nicknames and character references, that parents confer to their son or daughter, often become a basis of child behavior!
If the parents consider that their kid is uncontrolled, he will behave according to their expectations. If they, on the contrary, underline good qualities in the child, he will involuntarily strengthen these qualities.
That's why you should remember that it is necessary to pay attention to the child, when he doesn't fool around, when he obeys to you, willingly cooperates with you, ready to help, want to make your day with his successes etc. Meanwhile negative behavior we should ignore. In such a way we will develop positive behavior in our child. That is the secret!
Therefore try to control your thoughts and words. Carefully check every word, search only positive qualities in character of your child and you will be surprised, how easy and simple you will start to communicate with him.
